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Or, you can angle the arms to provide more pinpointed stimulation wherever you want it. It’s only about the size of a pinky (3.35 inches) and has 15 vibration patterns for a wide range of sensations. If vibration feels daunting for your first go-around, try using it as-is without turning it on first. Palm vibrators are named for the fact that they fit into, yep, the palm of your hand. Most have a slightly curved shape that enables them to rest on your vulva hands-free when you’re lying down, Wright says.

Now, yes, I identify as a woman and am working with feminine parts, so I have not used a fleshlight. But I do know a thing or two about vibration strength, battery power, and achieving orgasm, gender be damned. If you’re using a silicone toy, it’s best to warm it up with your hands—any extreme temperatures could damage the toy. However, you can experiment with temperature play with glass toys or metal toys.

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